The Object of My Child's Affection

Every parent's been through it; you are almost out the door, and your toddler is holding you back looking for his favorite teddy bear. Or maybe your eight month old won't stop screaming in her room because her pacifier is no where to be found. As caretakers you know how constricting this can be. You should keep in mind, though, to children the absence of his tattered and worn out teddy bear is what seems frustrating. Really, comfort items are just what they sound like, and are a healthy, significant part of growing up.

By the time the average child reaches the age of 1, they have found a security or comfort object that is kept by their side constantly. For younger children, the child's own thumb or even a pacifier will work well to quiet and comfort them when necessary. As your little one becomes a toddler, they look for something that is more physically satisfying like an old blankie or stuffed animal. It is believed that the soft texture of such items is at least in part, responsible for the comforting effect they have on young children. Toddlers will usually caress a stuffed animal or rub a blanket on their face or arm to get comfort.

Another comfort feature your child may discover with comfort items is the correlation they make with you. Rubbing the material of the blankie on their cheek could remind her or him of your clothing or skin when being cradled or embraced by you. Or possibly the teddy bear was always part of their sleeping or naptime schedule you established with your child. Once again, the association of you soothing your child or making her feel protected is what draws the attachment to these objects. Every so often children make comfort objects out of less traditional objects. It could be anything from a piece of clothing to a hard block. Although the attachment could be less obvious, there is most likely some emotional connection the child has made to receive security from the object.

However annoying it may be to deal with your child's consistent need for their blanket or teddy bear, it is very important to know that this phase of childhood is both necessary and healthy. The world can be terrifying to little kids, especially as they advance to their first birthday. It is sometime in these years that a child will begin to suffer from separation anxiety just as they are more likely to become separated from you because of a sitter, preschool, or even by their own choice as they are physically more capable of exploring their surroundings. With a comfort object, your child is learning to soothe herself when you are not available for them and as they widen their independence. Consider it a temporary partner to help them get through this new transition in their lives.

It usually isn't until your child reaches the age of 3 that she or he begins to regulate and control their own feelings and emotions and don't need to rely on a comfort object for soothing, according to Jane Kostelc, a child-development professional. It's also at this age that carrying an old blanket may be less socially accepted by their peers. Who knew children had peer pressure issues at such a young age? Anyway, it is perhaps better for you to respect this part of your child's life as the stepping stone that it is. By doing so you will promote their emotional development and growth. something that is certainly worthy of your momentary frustration.